Archive for the ‘Men’s Health-Erectile Dysfunction’ Category


Our respect for each other is based on other things.” Being entertainers, they also have much in common and are in agreement about most everything—politics, art, and philosophy.

Both claim that their sex life is as good today as it was in the beginning. Even better, because they both appreciate all the years of hard work each has put into the relationship. That aspect, plus their years of other accumulated positive experiences and trust, continues to enrich and intensify their love-making in a way that their initial passion did not—and indeed could not.

There were trouble spots along the way, but Todd and Charlotte worked through them rather than give up. For example, several times during their marriage, Todd had brief affairs. While another woman might have sued for divorce, Charlotte stuck with it. “I could always tell when Todd was having an affair,” she said. “He wouldn’t be able to look me in the eyes when we were having sex, and under questioning he would admit he had slept with a woman. At first I’d be pissed. Then I’d realize that Todd was a handsome man and that women were always coming on to him, and that it was only human for him to give in once in a while. I also knew that he wouldn’t have given in to temptation at all if things were good between us. In fact, two of the times he had affairs were when I had just given birth and had stopped paying attention to him. I had become almost totally involved in my child and oblivious to Todd.



Of course, the above dialogue could go many different ways. However, in most cases the uninterested spouse will go along with it. Even if that person has jealous feelings, he or she will want to deny them—or they may still be unconscious. The activist spouse will discuss a time and place when the rendezvous will occur—some Saturday night at a local hotel. The activist spouse will meet the suitor that evening and will return the following morning.

“Does that sound all right?”


“Would you like to come along or wait here?” “Why would I want to come along?”

“Well Martin offered to let you come up to the room with us and watch.”

“That’s very good of him.” “He really is very considerate.” “Quite.”

“And about the money: He asked would you like it in cash or would a check be all right?”

“Cash would be better. Isn’t that how they did it in Indecent Proposal?”

“I believe so.”



These statements have all been said before by these people in one way or another, so it is not cruel to say them in the context of this game (even though it may seem to be). Verbalizing them while having sex and while pretending they are the last two people on earth gives these statements a different meaning than usual. In the past, when such insults were flung at one another regularly, these partners had to develop an emotional numbness or some other defense against them. Now these statements have come alive as though said for the first time. But this time, said with “feeling,” they lead to new insights:

“Actually, you might as well be the last person in the world, because I married you and made a vow to you.”

“Actually, this could well be the last day on earth, since we never know when we’ll die.”

“Well, then?”

“Yes, exactly!”



“Just like that?” the perverse spouse answers, surprised. “Just like that.”

“Maybe we should call up Jill and Bob and swing with them.”

“Not tonight. I just want to make love with you—simply and deeply.”

“Well, how about if we borrow Howard’s German Shepherd?”

“No dogs.”

“All right. Wait, I’ll go and get out the whip.” “No whip.”

“Then the handcuffs, at least.”

“No handcuffs.”

“What about the vibrators?”

“No vibrators.”


“No dildoes.”

“Oh—I get it: You want to do some new role-playing?” “No role-playing.” “1 don’t understand.”

“I just want to make love to you, simply and deeply.” “Just you and me?” “That’s right.”

“How about just a little safety pin in my nipple?”

“No pins.”





I used three of these games with them, all of which at first

they found hard to take seriously. Their resistance to doing anything that would interfere with immediate gratification made them find excuses for not playing these games or for doing them only halfheartedly. The game that finally got them involved was “One-Night Stand,” since it appealed directly to their impulsive fantasies and offered the immediate gratification of acting out this fantasy. Once they had successfully played this game, they began to understand how they were blocking feelings and how those blocked feelings were causing them to need constant sexual novelty. Other games got them even further in touch with those feelings.

Eventually the games propelled them smack into the faces of issues they had been avoiding. After only a few weeks of the games, in fact, their therapy had reached a significantly deeper plane. After only several months of therapy, they decided to stay in their marriage and continue to work on their communication with each other rather than seek satisfaction outside of their union.



Transmission occurs through skin-to-skin contact with an infected person, either sexual or nonsexual, or through contact with bedding or clothing that has been in contact with an infected person. The infection is usually not transmitted through casual contact, for example in a workplace.

In adults, scabies is usually transmitted by sexual contact with an infected partner, but intercourse is not necessary to transmit scabies sexually. Children transmit scabies to one another through close physical contact. Multiple members of the same family frequently become infected, often through contact with the clothing or bedding of an infected person. Outbreaks sometimes occur in hospitals and nursing homes.

There is another type of scabies mite that can be transmitted from animals to humans, particularly from dogs. Outbreaks are not uncommon among entire families in which there is an infected dog. This scabies mite is different from the human scabies mite but can still cause infection in humans, as well as symptoms similar to those previously described. The human scabies mite does not infect animals, however, and the animal scabies mite cannot be transmitted from one person to another. The infection caused by the animal scabies mite resolves on its own without treatment.



The immunodot assay also looks for antibodies to a specific protein on the herpes virus. It has a sensitivity similar to that of the Western blot assay, and it will also correctly distinguish between HSV-1 and HSV-2. Like the Western blot assay, it is not 100 percent accurate, and it may take time—three weeks to six months after first infection—to show a positive result. Like the Western blot, this assay is useful for retesting a person whose culture was negative but whose symptoms strongly suggest herpes. If such a person notices another genital sore, he or she can either return to the health care provider as soon as possible for another culture or return in three to six months to have the blood test performed.

When genital sores or ulcers are present, other possible diagnoses must be considered. Syphilis, lymphogranuloma venereum, and chancroid are additional sexually transmitted diseases that can cause genital ulcers. In addition, certain medical conditions, such as the inflammatory bowel disorder called Crohn’s disease, can causegenital sores. The autoimmune disease Behcet’s syndrome can cause genital ulcers as well as oral ulcers and conjunctivitis.



Another way in which the virus can be transmitted is from mother to child. Infants can become infected in the womb (possibly through the amniotic fluid) or through contact with the virus at delivery. However, infection via these routes is very rare, especially given how common the virus is.

When a child is diagnosed with genital warts, it does not automatically mean that the child is a victim of sexual abuse, although this possibility must be investigated. Children can be infected at birth by mothers who are themselves carrying HPV, and, as already noted, the infection can take months or years to produce symptoms. Children can be infected through an inanimate object, such as a towel (which, as discussed previously, is possible but unlikely), or through close nonsexual contact with a family member who is infected. Each situation must be addressed individually.

If a mother has visible warts at delivery, she can pass the virus to her child, causing warts on the larynx (voice box) and occasionally on the eyes or genital area. Laryngeal warts are treatable, although this condition can be serious and recurrent in children. The virus can be passed on to the child even if there are no visible warts at delivery; given the large number of women infected with the virus, it is surprising how rarely this occurs. The virus can be passed to the fetus while in the womb, although this route of transmission is also thought to be very rare.

Having the HPV virus does not prevent a woman from becoming pregnant, nor does it increase her risk of a miscarriage or premature labor. However, the virus sometimes becomes more active during pregnancy. If extensive warts are present at delivery, a cesarean section may be recommended, especially if the warts are extensive enough to block the birth canal. This method of delivery may decrease the risk of HPV transmission to the child, although some babies born by cesarean section still develop warts on the larynx (possibly by transmission through the amniotic fluid in the womb). Therefore, a cesarean section is usually not recommended solely for the purpose of preventing transmission of the virus to the newborn. A better approach is to treat warts well before delivery so that they are not present during and cannot interfere with delivery.



Several behaviors put people at highest risk for STDs, including having unprotected sex (especially with several partners), having unprotected sex with a prostitute, and sharing needles during injection drug use or body piercing and tattooing. A woman whose partner is bisexual may be at higher risk for becoming infected with a sexually transmitted infection if her male partner has had unprotected sex with male partners either while they are together or in the past. In addition to avoiding these behaviors yourself, you must choose your partners wisely, because not only are partners who engage in high-risk activity at risk for acquiring an infection themselves, they may infect any sexual partner they are with. A partner who has sex with other partners while you are together puts you at risk for sexually transmitted infections.

People who exchange sex for money or drugs, such as prostitutes, are at very high risk for transmitting STDs. Those who have sex with prostitutes have a high risk of acquiring infections. Any type of sexual contact—oral, anal, or genital—with a prostitute is high risk. If protection is used, then this risk is decreased, but condoms may break or leak, so there is still risk. Some people are under the erroneous assumption that receiving oral sex without a condom from a prostitute is safe. But if a person performs unprotected oral sex on many people, his or her throat can become a harbor for infection just like the genital or anal area.



Why would anyone want to have a PSA test? Because it can save lives.

It’s true, many men out there do have prostate cancer that doesn’t do a whole lot, but just seems to percolate in the prostate without spreading. Are you one of those men? Are you willing to gamble, with your life, that you are? Or that you won’t live long enough for your prostate cancer to spread? Ideally, doctors would be able to tell the difference between harmless and aggressive tumors, and treat only the “bad” kind of cancer. However, as a Mayo Clinic urologist recently concluded: “Since we do not have the capability to reliably distinguish aggressive tumors from those that are clinically insignificant, one must assume that any prostate cancer identified in a man with a life expectancy of 10 years or more is potentially life-threatening, and should therefore be treated.” This doesn’t mean, as some would argue, that surgery—and particularly, unnecessary surgery—is the automatic next step; it isn’t, not by a long shot.